The following are excerpts from an explorer hiking the Gartner Hype Cycle for Enterprise Content Management (ECM) technologies.
Day 1, Reached the Peak
Today we finally reached the Peak of Inflated Expectations. The view is simply amazing. This technology is going to revolutionize everything. Everyone is excited and teaming up with their friends. Documentum just got some great new equipment from EMC. I suspect that those two will be very happy together for a long time.
Life is good.
Day 2, Getting Crowded
Apparently everyone is excited and more and more people are joining us on the Peak. While the view is still lovely, the ground is starting to get muddy from all the people trampling everywhere.
Stellent showed up with their new pal Oracle. Everyone thinks they are a bunch of posers but they are mostly keeping quiet because Oracle has a bit of a temper.
There seems to be a new noise. I’m going to go check it out.
Day 4, Ooops
That noise from the other day? That was the beginning of an avalanche that carried the entire group off of the Peak. According to our maps we are in the Trough of Disillusionment. It is hard to validate because nobody can get a clear signal anymore. It is a bit gloomy but some people seem to think we can get out.
OMG! Open Text ate Hummingbird while we were sleeping! They must be panicking already.
Tensions are very high.
Day 7, False Hope
SharePoint hailed us from the Peak today. They offered a rope to pull us up one at a time. Everyone was fighting to join forces with SharePoint, even offering up their first born for a chance. The efforts don’t seem to be working as the ropes keep breaking from the weight.
Open Text ate Gauss and Ixos last night. Everyone is wondering if they are next.
Day 9, Morale is Dropping
SharePoint fell down into the trough with the rest of us yesterday. Resources are starting to become scarce. There is a sinking feeling that we are all going to be stuck here for a while.
Open Text ate Vignette yesterday. Is nobody safe?
Talking about finding new food sources. Most of us have taken to sleeping in shifts to stay safe.
Day 11, Despair Setting In
Have setup a permanent camp here in the Trough. Supplies are running low and the outlook looks bleak.
There are rumors of some people that might help us but they seem pretty thin and hyperactive. One of them, Box I believe, appears totally powered by Red Bull and Diet Coke.
Open Text found a nearby Trough and ate Global 360 and Metastorm. We are all feeling a little more relaxed now that Open Text has found a new source of food.
Day 12, Fights Breaking Out
The stress is getting to everyone.
EMC and Documentum had a fight today. EMC was found with a knife at Documentum’s throat yelling something about being a commodity. When we pulled them apart, Documentum screamed that if they had been allowed to do it their way, none of this would have happened. EMC stalked off muttering that they never signed on for any of this.
To be fair, none of us did.
Open Text hasn’t eaten anyone in a while. We are all getting nervous.
Day 13, Hipster Invasion
Those skinny people who lived off of Red Bull are apparently called ‘hipsters’. The hipsters are claiming to have found a path up the Slope of Enlightenment. We all have our doubts.
Documentum seems to be dating Syncplicity and EMC has found a new BFF called Pivotal. They are obviously trying to annoy each other.
Open Text just ate a hipster named Cordys. Nobody is sure why as there didn’t seem to be a lot of meat on Cordys’ bones.
Day 14, Resignation
We are stuck. Nothing is working. Everyone keeps coming up with ideas to get us up the Slope but they are really just the same ideas everyone has had for days.
Box disappeared last night. Open Text swears they had nothing to do it.
Dropbox and SharePoint have been talking and they claim to have found the path up the Slope that Box took. Everyone is skeptical.
I’m not sure what the future holds. If Open Text tried to eat me I might let them as it would end the suffering. This is not the utopia we were promised. Cannibalism, back-stabbing, and false promises have left us rotting down here in the Trough.
If anyone finds this journal, please tell my family I loved them. Well, most of them. I still haven’t forgiven my brother for taking my giant-sized Star Trek coloring book.
[Edit: The story continues…]